Physics
by amberpire
Summary: Strength isn't measured in the fights you win. ;Emily/Naomi;


There were pluses to being Emily Fitch.

Some of them had to do with the fact that college had never been all that difficult for her, and unlike her sister, she's never really had to try to get good marks. Learning has never been hard, and storing the necessary information in order to pass quizzes and exams has been relatively simple her whole life. Everyone, including her parents, has always told her that she got the smart genes while Katie bathed in the overwhelming pool of self-confidence.

For most of her life, Emily had wished the roles had been reversed. She wished she had been more like Katie, who didn't give a single fuck about what anyone said or thought, who embraced who she was and wore it gladly, who was bold and strong, if a bit of a bitch. Emily had spent her childhood tucked in the shy corner, trying to pluck up enough courage to join her sister who strutted around like the world was grateful to have her walk on it. Some people found Katie snooty and pompous, but Emily only saw her as brave, and that was something Emily had never really been.

At least, not until Naomi.

It's weird, the power people have, the extraordinary way they can change you. Naomi might say now that she needs Emily more than the other way around, but Emily likes to think it's balanced on both ends. It didn't used to be, what with Naomi constantly throwing up walls and building moats between them, locking her out with the keys of her insecurity. The chains that had been so securely wrapped around Naomi were both drowning her and keeping her safe, because if Naomi didn't put an effort into wanting to live, to be loved, then she couldn't be disappointed when no one did.

Emily remembers the first time she saw her. It's not something she could ever easily forget. If there's anything that will always stick out sharp and clear against the hazy fog that memories become, it'll be the first time her brown eyes grazed the pale, slender nymph that was twelve-year-old Naomi Campbell walking her cotton ball of a dog in front of the Fitch house. Emily had been reading by the window (also unlike her sister, she found reading to be quite fun and enjoyed it immensely) when frantic nails on the cement drew her attention outside. Naomi was considerably shorter then, but still unbelievably lanky, with arms and legs that seem to dangle on forever. Her hair was darker, a kind of light russet that was yanked over her head in a tight ponytail. Emily had shifted against the window, leaning closer, watching the long-limbed girl in her green shorts and noisy flip-flops smack her feet on the sidewalk. The dog pulled fruitlessly at the leash, scrambling to walk faster, to run, but the girl's arm was taut with control, her face passive, almost blank. Emily stared openly, her book falling limp in her lap as she moved to her knees in order to watch the girl for as long as possible.

And then she turned, the sun clinging to her hair and the slope of her shoulders and the green of her shorts, highlighting her edges like she was traced in the glow of a halo. Her blue eyes seemed to already know what to look for and found a pair of curious coffee-colored eyes peering out from the window. The two stared at each other for an indefinite amount of time, the white dog yanking painfully at its leash, but as far as twelve-year-old Emily was concerned, her world had been microscopic before that moment and with seeing this calm, controlled girl, her universe had thrown open thousands of doors. It was the first time Emily felt a surge of something different, foreign and strange inside of her, something she could never really explain to herself, let alone anyone else.

Naomi looked away first. The persistent dog dragged her attention back to their walk, and she moved briskly away and around a corner and Emily was left staring after her with an new kind of ache in her chest, something that didn't quite sync with the beat of her heart. But as much as it hurt, and as much as it scared her, Naomi Campbell became the unwilling center of Emily's world and there was really nothing either could do about it.

There's a law in physics that says once an object is in motion, it tends to stay in motion until another force stops it. That was the push, the tiniest little shove that put them in motion; eye contact seems so trivial, but it's said that the wings of a butterfly cause hurricanes on the other side of the world.

For a long time, that's what it was between them. A constant storm. A natural disaster happening over and over again. Emily isn't beyond saying that most of it was due to Naomi, who was always so convinced that any sliver of calm required a massive storm afterwards, decided that she'd be hurt less if she initiated the damage instead of being the victim. Emily is sure that was always the fear, the unrelenting abhorrence that had plagued Naomi from childhood on that told her everyone was going to hurt her eventually, so it was better to strike them first before they had a chance. Emily had taken those blows, all of them, and more than once people had told her it was childish and stupid and naive of her, to always go back to Naomi after she had been broken in the worst of ways, but Emily couldn't fight things like physics. There were laws.

"She's going to crush you," Katie had told her once, when they still lived at home. Emily had chosen to ignore her, scribbling notes on her pad of paper from her textbook. Not that she really needed to, but she needed to pass the time between when Naomi was there and when she wasn't, and at least it gave her a distraction from thoughts like the one Katie had verbalized.

"I'm serious, Ems. I'm worried about you."

Emily had looked at her sister with such a level of bullshit in her gaze that the older twin had looked away in discomfort. Katie didn't worry about things that didn't directly involve her and Emily wasn't stupid enough to believe that she did. Sure, she knew Katie loved her on a unique kind of level, one that was reserved for people who shared the same mother and birth time, but the girl was still painfully self-centered, and her world was small. Emily just barely hovered around the edges of it. Emily didn't hold it against her very often because she knew that's what made Katie so strong and brave, why she was so fearless a lot of the time. Still, Emily wasn't about to be convinced that her sister's scope was wider than it was, that having Emily in her life was more out of obligation than anything else. Not to mention that her twin had never exactly approved of Naomi, or the whole gay mess in general.

"I'm a big girl, thanks." They had had this conversation about a dozen times. Emily knew Katie had her own reasons and few of them actually included Emily's well being. Most of it had to do with image and what people thought of the two of them, specifically Katie, when they found out Emily was a lesbian.

Emily had told Naomi about it later that day, and the blonde had gathered Emily's hands and brought them to her lips, kissing her knuckles and letting her warm breath smooth across her skin. "At least she cares," Naomi had said, and tried to give a reassuring smile.

"About her fucking reputation, sure."

Another plus to being Emily Fitch was her amazing ability to forgive. Most everyone would say this was a weakness, something to be ashamed of, but after falling so deeply in love she didn't know which way was up or down anymore, Emily couldn't possibly see it as a bad thing. Every time Emily had woken up to an empty field of sheets, every time Naomi had thrown up her walls and forced Emily away, Emily simply stood her ground and waited. Maybe she was braver than she gave herself credit for, because there were few people she knew that could endure what she had and still manage to love the source of their pain, to be willing to change it.

Naomi wasn't the same girl she had been when they first locked eyes. She wasn't the same girl Emily had kissed four months after she saw her walking past her house. She wasn't the same girl she was even yesterday, padding around with just a t-shirt on in the kitchen, smelling of eggs and bacon when she crawled atop Emily's lap on the couch. And Emily wasn't the same girl, either. She wasn't hiding behind her sister, locked away in a corner, fearfully watching Naomi from the safety of her window. There were laws in evolution, too, and time and circumstance required change and neither of them were immune to it. They evolved. They became different people, but the point was to be able to continue loving someone through those changes, to change with them.

She was Emily Fitch, and she had finally realized that there were pluses to that, good things that she was grateful to have. And of course, Naomi was the center of that, the sun of her solar system, achingly beautiful and far from perfect, but more than good enough. That's the thing, really. Being good enough, because expecting perfection is a waste, and learning how to coexist with someone who has all the power to hurt you and trusting them not to is one of the biggest challenges you can face. Emily is brave, for staring that kind of hurt in the face, for taking it in stride, for not running away when she had every reason to.

Strength isn't measured in the fights you win. In fact, it's completely the opposite; it's how many you lose and what it takes to go back and try again.

"Ems, you're thinking again."

Emily finds Naomi's cerulean eyes and holds them, bolting them together. She takes Naomi by the jaw and kisses her, hands fisting in the back of her ruby hair, and she crumbles on top of her girlfriend like the hundreds of walls she had to knock down to get to the sweet center inside. They kiss and Naomi's breath patters out of her like a light rain, the easing up of a storm.

They're going to stay in motion because there's no force strong enough to stop them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**_ First of all, this is my 100th story. Huzzah. My first Skins story, and my first try at these two, though I'm certain there will be more in the future. The first fic for a pairing is always rough for me until I find where I'm comfortable writing from, so I'm sure they'll improve from here on out._


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